I don't think I've yet talked about the title of my blog--because that is definitely how I feel about leaving Mormonism: I escaped godhood.
Why do I feel this way about that teaching? Why is escaping godhood such a relief to me?
Well, for one, its such a prideful teaching. It brings deity down to our level. Even the Greeks, Romans, and similar societies with many gods never brought their gods down to the level of ever having been a mere man. Even Egyptians believed their pharaohs to be more than just men from birth, as far as I know. It is prideful to think that we can become divine to the point of being all-powerful, all-knowing, and forever perfect.
I remember when I was still Mormon wondering if the reason we don't use most of our brains is because that's what makes us gods. Its kind of like how sci-fi shows say that aliens can communicate telepathically or use other higher brain functions because they use more of their brains than we do. Because of the way I had been taught, I reduced God's omniscience, omnipotence, and all his greatness down to brain capacity.
Aside from the pride and lackluster of an imperfect man turned perfect god (in which case he was once not perfect, and in theory is capable of being imperfect again), I don't like the role it put me into.
My role as a woman? I would marry a priesthood holder and be sealed to him, have no power in God's name on earth except to provide bodies for more spirits, die, hopefully go to the Celestial Kingdom, eventually become a goddess...and make lots of spirit babies as my husband created a world for them by arranging matter into a planet, and then watch in unacknowledged silence as my children suffered and struggled through the world, knowing only a portion of them would ever come back to me, and that many would never know me in that life, because my husband and his prophets thought it "inappropriate to pray to the Heavenly Mother," (to quote Gordon B. Hinckley).
It sounds rather more like sexual slavery, or perhaps motherhood slavery, rather than goddess-hood. I wouldn't even get my own world, I'd get my husband's. Assuming he was good enough to become a god. If he wasn't, what then? Would I be assigned to some other man as one of his wives? Would I be forever doomed to live without having spirit children, languishing in one place for all of eternity as everyone else moved on?
And where does it all end? Where does it all begin? Having a birth, a beginning of being, implies a beginning and an end. At least a beginning, somewhere...yet Mormons never talk about a first God, or where he might have come from...the implication is often that its just a big continuous circle of eternity, but how could that be? Marriage is a forever commitment, at least to people who actually choose to commit, and it certainly is in Mormonism, yet there's a beginning to that, even if there's no end. Would a continuous line of gods and their wives not be different?
It is far easier to accept a single, truly eternal God with no beginning nor end--time never was until humans were, because we live lives that have a beginning. Is that necessarily in our comprehension? No. We're humans. We don't even use our whole brain capacity. But it makes a lot more sense than the Mormon view. And as a female, its a whole lot more fair to not be subject to my husband when it comes to my salvation and "exaltation" (which I no longer believe in)--my salvation should be between me and God alone, and should not rely on anyone else. If I went through my life alone with just a Bible, I'd be able to get to Christ. But in the Mormon religion, I wouldn't be able to become a Goddess.
And yet another reason is the arduous and often way too controlling requirements of attaining godhood. If you don't do A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,and K, and probably L, M, and N too, you won't get there. And since your a sinner and can't do A-N perfectly all the time, you have to just hope you repented well enough each time you slipped up so that you'll still be good enough when you die. Whereas in Christianity all you have to do is have faith. When you have faith, when you believe in something good, when you strive for goodness because of your faith, you have done enough. And the faith is the key. All the other things will fall into place because of the path of goodness you have chosen through faith. And right there, you've gotten everything you can ever hope to receive as an imperfect human--faith, grace, peace, and the promise of something better.