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I'm a Christian, married to a wonderful man, Steven, and mother to a wonderful little son. I have many interests and a few noteworthy journeys in life and I enjoy sharing them.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My Prayer

There are some days where it takes everything I have to not just scream at those who look at me and think "She's an apostate...she didn't turn out well enough..." My family...my old friends from church...they all see that I left, and don't see the joy in my life beyond that, not really.

My little brother has probably been one of the most difficult. On Father's Day two days ago, we were joking around with each other, and he playfully said he got scared whenever he turned out like me one way or another. I laughingly denied turning out badly, citing a good marriage and a decent job, among other things, and he gave me a look. And I just knew he was thinking that I'd left the church...and so he never wanted to be like his big sister. Not in that way. Not ever.

So I just pray, for myself and those in my position...God, grant me strength, and understanding, and patience, and love. Help them see through what they've been taught to see what's really there. And help me be the example so that when they finally see it, they will see joy and goodness, rather than just an apostate. Help me have the grace to stay strong, to know when its time to speak up and to know when to leave things alone. Help all of us who have found our way out, to testify with out lives that we have found better--that we didn't leave because we weren't good enough--that our little siblings can grow up to be like us without shame.

1 comment:

  1. Lee, your ability to reason factually and still maintain empathy never ceases to astound me. Your strength & boldness to test everything & hold onto what you found to be good & true is never something to be ashamed of. God knows the desires of your heart.. he searches the mind & examines the heart & rewards a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve. (Jer. 17:10)
    You are beautiful in mind & heart.. know that God sees that and your temporary broken-heart & despair for your loved ones is just that--temporary. That's a guarantee ;) I will always be praying for the people we mutually care for & desperately desire to offer the truth to.
    In Christ, the one and only way :)